In my last post I talked about the what and why of addiction. Recap: addictions are destructive thought or behavior patterns people engage in mindlessly to escape reality and find some kind of temporary relief from pain. Today I want to talk about mindfulness: how it can help us be present and find alternative ways of dealing with our reality so that we no longer have to turn to our addictions for relief from pain.
Mindfulness basics
Mindfulness is basically just practicing awareness in the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness is key in overcoming addiction. First of all, you can’t change a thought or behavior pattern if you aren’t mindful/aware of it; you have to understand that you are engaging in these patterns that aren’t serving you before you can change them.
Identifying your addiction
If you’re already aware of the addictions you struggle with in your life, skip to the next paragraph. If not, here are some useful questions to ask yourself to identify addictions in your own life:
What thought or behavior patterns do I engage in that cause me to feel good in the moment but which cause me a lot of grief/pain/guilt/shame in the long run?
What thoughts or behaviors do I turn to in times of high stress or emotion?
How do I distract or numb myself from my reality?
Consider these questions and notice your thoughts and behaviors in times of high stress or emotion. Don’t judge or criticize yourself for the thoughts that come into your head during these moments or the actions you take as a result of high stress or emotion, just get curious and observe. You are not bad for engaging in these thoughts or behaviors; you are coping with life the best way you know how. You may learn new coping skills that work better for you down the line, but right now you are just trying to learn more about yourself.
How mindfulness combats addiction
When we can become more mindful of the mindless ways we respond to stress, emotion, and reality, we gain the realization that we have a choice in the way we respond. Sometimes it feels like we have no control over our addictions, but this is because our addictions have become mindless habits for us. We feel pain, we seek pleasure. It takes courage and a lot of work to break a habit, especially one that brings temporary relief from pain. To break a habit, we must first ask ourselves why we are having the thought to engage in the habit. Observe the emotions you feel when you feel triggered to engage in your addiction: stress, depression, anger, anxiety, fear, loneliness, etc. Get curious about these feelings and your reactions to these feelings.
Ask yourself how engaging in your addiction could help with these feelings. Observe what comes up, maybe it’s, “you wouldn’t have to deal with your feelings of loneliness if you got some more heroin” or “you won’t have to think about all the stress you’re dealing with if you just eat those cookies” or “you will finally be worthy of love and acceptance if you exercise for just one more hour.” We don’t judge these thoughts; we get curious about them. We ask ourselves if our thoughts are true. We reality check and question if engaging in this thought or behavior will really solve our ultimate problem. We wonder if there are any other ways of dealing with our problem.
By observing and getting curious about the thoughts that trigger us to engage in our addictions, we find that these thoughts are just thoughts; they are not necessarily true and they do not necessitate an action from us. We can have these thoughts without them controlling us and this helps them to lose their power over us. We recognize that they are not always the best solution to our problems and we find that maybe there are better ways of coping with our reality.
Learn more about mindfulness & addiction recovery in a therapy session with me.
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